Due to my continued high stress levels right now, I'm a lot more sensitive than I normally am. I cry...alot. Social situations are more difficult. Small talk is a strain. Conversations with people that haven't been seen for a long time contain awkward silences. Am I getting old and cratchity?
My mom is doing very well with her cancer treatment. In April, she stated that she was not having a Fourth of July party. My immediate family began looking forward to a leisurely holiday at home. Yesterday, my mom told me that she is now planning on a Fourth of July party. There has been a lot of strain between my siblings in the last year. One sister left her husband and eventually filled for divorce, creating awkward situations. My mom's treatment has caused several other instances of discord among her various children. I haven't been involved in the disagreements, but find the family get-togethers stressful. My bil who is getting divorced is hosting a graduation party for my sister's oldest son in 2 weeks. Family ties would be severed if my family doesn't attend his party. I also want to be supportive of my sister's children. But the bottom line is that I don't want to go to another family party two weeks later in early July. I'd like some breathing room.
Because the van has been scrapped, we no longer own transportation that holds all family members. Keeping my husband's 5 seater Altima for the day involves 3 hours of driving. Making 4 trips to my mom's house (to transport all the kids and myself) is another 2 hours of driving. Selfishly, I don't want to drive 8 hours on the interstate on the 4th of July. If I don't go to my mom's she will be hurt. We will probably end up going to her party. Grumble, grumble, grumble.
Next year is going to be better.