Susan at Susan's Pendulum talked about her return into the work force and how her job as a stay at home mom was harder. Her paid job is easier and more socially acceptable. Each week, she is rewarded with a paycheck, adult conversation, and completed tasks. Reading her post started me thinking.
I've been in a funk for quite awhile about my vocation as a stay at home mom. Being at home with my children, teaching them, helping them to make good decisions, worshiping with them and guiding them throughout their day is important and I used to love it. Right now the thought of getting out of the house and being around adults who don't keep asking endless questions and requiring my attention sounds lovely. The extra money would also be welcomed around here.
It's not the right season in my life to be gone for substantial hours each day, nor is sending all the kids off to public school and giving me some time alone practical. Most of my struggle stems from my sinful nature, coveting what I don't have. It is lonely to rarely speak with an adult. Mike cannot supply all my needs for adult conversation. I am weary of washing, folding, and ironing endless loads of clothing. Washing another sink full of dishes has lost its appeal. And several years ago, I learned that I no longer enjoy cooking.
These were all tasks that I used to do with enjoyment each day. Where has the joy in my life for daily tasks gone? Why do I feel the need to escape? Why do I yearn for quiet? My children are not monsters. They are normally well-behaved and kind. They do their share of the household chores. The house is easily picked up and clean in less than an hour. Still I am unsatisfied with my vocation.
There are other stressful things happening right now. My mom's health is still precarious. The cost of gas and the accompanying increase in food prices are taxing our budget more than we like. Still, God has and continues to provide all that we need. I have no reason to complain.
Anyone with suggestions and ideas for things that have helped them are welcome to share. These are my limited thoughts. The weather is getting more pleasant and I'm planning on spending more time outside this summer. Being more physically active will help me feel better. I'm also considering some major changes to our homeschool style next year, even though this year worked fairly well for the children.