Another Birthday

Steve's birthday was on December 30. He turned 16. My boys are growing up! I had my root canal retreat in the morning, so Mike was elected to prepare dinner again. Steve requested burritos, homemade salsa, tortilla chips, and sundays for dessert. It was weird not to bake any cakes this week.

Steve and some of his friends were to a nearby city and spent the afternoon at an indoor skateboard park. The kids all had a good time. Amy drove them in and spent the afternoon at a coffee shop reading.

They returned home after 6:30, so dinner was a little late. After scarfing down another delicious meal, Steve opened his presents. He asked for a cheap camera, which we were able to find at the last minute after my dentist appointment. After enjoying sundays with too many toppings, Steve got a phone call on his cell.

After a quick conversation, Steve walked out the door and went next door. A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. Steve was letting me know that he was next door with the police. It seems that one of the boys who spent the afternoon at the skate park with Steve was being asked questions about where he had been. Someone had broke a door and stole outdoor Christmas decorations. My neighbor wanted Steve to confirm that the friend was out of town. She also wanted Steve's shoes checked against the footprints from the theft.

I sent Mike next door to bring Steve home. When Steve returned home, Mike and I asked him some questions about the event. The theft had happened at 10:45 the evening before. My children have to be inside the house by dark (which is around 5:30 here.) The boy who was being questioned had been at my neighbor's house until that time, when he left their house and walked home. Someone had seen him walking and suggested his name. Why did my neighbor feel it necessary to bring my son into this? Why did she phone him to see the police at her home? I understand that she wanted Steve's friend (her daughter's boyfriend) to have his name cleared, but she had not seen anything. She was in her house and the theft was several blocks away.

The neighbor decided that she thinks that she knows who is the culprit. She's been writing nasty messages on this 8th grade boy's facebook page. My son and his friend are angry about how this was handled. My neighbor's mom is making unfounded accusations and continues to harass this boy and is spreading rumors about him. I'm astonished at her behavior. I've made my children unfriend my neighbor on facebook and have requested that they stay away from her.

The neighborhood finally quieted down and we gathered together to play video games to celebrate Steve's big day. He'll probably remember this one.

Sleepless Night

Last night a nearby neighbor had a party. The party lasted until the wee hours of the morning. There was much drinking, drunken yelling, BB gun shooting, and loud music. We closed all our windows, but still heard the uproar until around 4:30am. Being the non-so-mellow person that I am, I wanted Mike to call the police about the noise. This was especially true after one of the party guests was shot with the BB gun around 2:00am. Mike didn't want to start a neighborhood war, so we endured a sleepless night.

When we arrived home after church this morning, the party house from the night before was closed up tight. Am I vindictive? I felt that it was time to play loud music outside, while we vacuumed all the cars. Mike mentioned that I was being vindictive, so my plan was foiled. Hopefully, this will not become normal behavior for our newest neighbors. I get crabby if I don't get any sleep.

Cranky Neighbor's

This summer, I realized that most of my neighbors don't speak to each other and call the police on each other all the time. Mike and I decided that we were not going to get involved in all the neighborhood drama. Instead, we would try to be good neighbor to everyone. It didn't work.

The family (I'll refer to them as Jill) who lives behind me doesn't speak to three other people on our block, and the three families involve the police in all their squabbles. Her family recently began to have problems with the house across the street from them. The neighbor (I'll refer to them as Jack) doesn't like children and calls the police when Jill's children write on the sidewalk with sidewalk chalk or ride bikes and skateboards in the street. Jill's dog has entered Jack's yard which is yet another problem.

Monday night, Steve had returned from the skateboard park with his friends. He and his friends were skating on the sidewalk in front of my home. Jill's children and their friends were skating in the street in from of Jack's home. Jack called the police on Jill's children stating that they were blocking traffic. My children were called inside a short time later, due to darkness.

Half an hour later, a policeman arrived on my front porch and asked to come in a speak with me. After he entered the house, he asked how many children I had. After I responded he behaved in a threatening manner. The police man towered over me and spoke loudly (the kids could hear him upstairs in the back bedroom.) He stated that Jill had told him that MY children were blocking traffic on the street and that their skateboard ramps were also blocking traffic. We don't own any skateboard ramps or rails (Jill does.)Jill received a ticket for her dog during their interview, because the dog was not restrained. He stated that no skateboards were allowed anywhere in the city, except at the skate park. There had been multiple complaints from several people that my children were blocking traffic with ramps. If the police received any more complaints all my children and I would be sited with tickets ($150 each.)

I explained that we didn't own ramps and that my children were on the sidewalk. He stated that he would not take my word about my children's actions and that
I had received my only warning. He then took my license number for future verification on the children involved. Continued to drone on about my liability for approximately 15 in an aggressive manner. By the time he left, I was crying. I had been treated more like the owner of a meth-house whose children had just mugged a 99 year old crippled woman than a mom whose child was supposedly skateboarding in the wrong location.

After calming down, I checked the city ordinances in our small town. Skateboards are not allowed on the streets, but are allowed on the sidewalks, except in the down town area. I don't live downtown. After Mike came home, I explained what had happened.

He went to the police station the following afternoon to speak with the officer. He learned from the officer at the desk, that two complaints were made by ONE person (Jack) and that the policeman who visited me had said that it was my children, and that I had agreed that it was my children who were in the street on the next block.

Mike spoke with the officer about the visit to our home and that I only have 3 children who skateboard. My children were in front of my house. The 10-12 on the neighboring street were not mine. Mike mentioned the ordinance that states that skateboards are allowed on sidewalk as long as they don't impede pedestrian traffic. The officer said that anytime children are on sidewalks they are blocking the sidewalk. He also reiterated that if children were skateboarding in my area, I would be ticked.

The chief of police walked past Mike and the officer. Mike asked the chief if he could speak with him, because he was getting no where with the other policeman. The chief of police said that my kids could ride their skateboards on the sidewalk in front of my house. After he left, the original officer stated that the ordinance gave the police a "lot of discretion in regards to skateboarders" and that he would issue my family tickets if another complain comes in about skaters in my area.

I'll be attending the next several city commission meetings and getting into contact with the commissioners about this law. Any time an officer is allowed to give a ticket to someone who is following the law, there's a problem. Laws should be relatively black and white. Policemen should not be allowed to be judge and jury. My neighbor (Jill) is no longer a person who I respect. I would like to sell our current house and move outside the city.

Mike and I spent a lot of time reading about the police department and the ordinances in our town. The biography on the officer who visited my house stated that the favorite part of his job is serving the community and working with people.

Today, Jill's children were skateboarding on the sidewalk and road in front of my house.

Socialization

I'm ready for school to start. Not our home-school, but the public school. My children enjoy spending everyday playing with the neighborhood children. The children need to spend time developing friendships, learning how to cope with various social situations, and getting lots sunshine and fresh air. I just need a break from other people's children.

Don't get me wrong. I like my children's friends. They are nice children. After months of 20+ children around each day, I begin to feel claustrophobic. Saturday, I kept Paige and Allie in the house all day. Silly me assumed that the neighborhood children under 10 wouldn't come over. I was wrong. Seven 4-6 year old children hung out on my front porch with their older siblings and my older children.

A few months ago, Allie was bit by a neighbor's dog. It wasn't a bad bite, more like a scratch. The neighbor apologized and promised to keep the dog inside when my children were playing with her children. Friday, Paige and Allie took Buster (our Jack Russell) outside. No other children were outside and we chained Buster in the yard, near his dog house. Ten minutes later, I heard that Buster had bitten the same neighbor's 6-year old. The bite was mainly a scratch and I apologized to the neighbor. The neighbor mentioned that Buster was in her yard. There is a fence between our property and Buster was still chained up. When I told her that he was still chained, her 6-year old explained that he had cut the fence earlier in the week, so that he could get in our yard! The neighbor promised to fix the fence and was very nice about the dog bite. I really need some "family only" time!

We start school next week. I think that we'll do day trips for the remainder of this week....just until the neighborhood quiets down for a while.

Stop Complaining!

My father used to jokingly state, "No good deed goes unpunished." Unfortunately, I've come to realize that he is correct. I don't like to ask other people for help. People are busy with their own lives and have their own burdens to carry. So I bumble along, doing what I can and accepting that somethings need to be forgone because they are more than I can carry. It always amazes me when someone offers to help me. I feel guilt at needing help. Why can't I juggle everything on my schedule more successfully? On the other side, some people do need assistance and I'm happy to help when I can.

In June, a neighbor stopped by our house and introduced her grand-daughter to my children, then asked if she could speak to me. After we introduced ourselves to each other, the neighbor explained that her grand-daughter would be staying with her for the summer. The grandmother needed someone who could keep an eye on her grand-daughter for 4 hours each night. The neighbor further explained that her grand-daughter would probably be spending several evenings at various friends' houses and would just need to "check-in" with me periodically.

My yard is always full of neighborhood children and it was only four hours (from 4-8pm) each evening, so I agreed. The woman offered to pay me something, but I declined because I didn't want more demands placed on me and I wanted to help the woman.

The first few weeks were okay. Grandma had lied to me about the amount of time, which ended up being from 3:15-9:00pm. The grand-daughter never plays with anyone else in the neighborhood and usually requires lunch and dinner each day. Madelyn and the grand-daughter seemed to get along well, so I was willing to take the unexpected changes in the agreement.

During the third week, Madelyn became ill. She ran a high temperature, had a sore throat, and slept constantly. I stopped by the grandmother's home to let her know that Madelyn was suspected of having strep throat, so she wouldn't be able to play with the grand-daughter. I explained that the grand-daughter could still come by, but she would need to stay outside and play with the other children. Grandma complained that she would be in trouble if the grand-daughter came with her to work, but said that she would take the grand-daughter with her that evening.

On Saturday and Sunday, these neighbors drove very slowly by my home many times. They were staring in our windows and staring at the children outside playing in the yard. (It was a little creepy.) On Monday, the grandmother dropped by my house and stated that the grand-daughter was sure that she had seen Madelyn dancing around inside the house all weekend. The grandmother wanted to know if Madelyn didn't like the grand-daughter any more. Biting my tongue, I reiterated that Madelyn had been ill and that I didn't believe that the girls were having any problems.

The grand-daughter has had an unstable life and is constantly being dropped off at various relatives for several weeks at a time. I understand that the girl is insecure, but I resented that the woman was implying that I lied to her and the fact that she spied on my family.

The girl went to visit her mother for awhile, but the grandmother didn't know for how long. Last Monday, while I was involved in a sewing class for Madelyn and her friends, the grand-daughter arrived and asked if she could be watched that day. I agreed to watch the grand-daughter even with only 15 minutes notice. The sewing class finished up and Madelyn and her friends went outside to play. The grand-daughter was uncomfortable around the other children. Madelyn and the other children invited the grand-daughter to swim and bike ride with them. It was an awkward group of children, but no one excluded the grand-daughter.

The following day, the grandmother stopped by to complain that her grand-daughter felt excluded and thought that Madelyn no longer liked her. The grandmother went on to explain that after the other children left, her grand-daughter was more comfortable and enjoyed herself. She mentioned that she had told her grand-daughter to tell me if Madelyn was no paying enough attention to her. The grandmother thought that it would be a good idea, if I didn't have Madelyn's good friends over in the evenings. I was floored. I NEVER promised exclusive play time with Madelyn. The agreement was to keep an eye on her grand-daughter. Madelyn should be allowed to have friends over to play. The grand-daughter was invited to play with Madelyn and her other friends. I was outside with them the entire time.

The following day, other neighborhood children were over when the grand-daughter arrived. The kids were all hanging out on the front porch. I spent the evening in the dining room, listening to what was going on out on the porch. The grand-daughter spent the entire 6 hours, sitting in a lawn chair refusing to do anything. Madelyn and Joe asked her multiple times if she wanted to play a board game or tag, etc. She refused. If the grandmother comes by to complain, I'm going to tell her to find someone else. Why do I feel guilty? I really wanted to help this woman, but now I feel trapped in a bad situation.

A Little Crowded?

This is the view of my pool on a very hot summer day. Do you think we might need a bigger pool? As a side note, only three of the kids in the pool belong to me.

The Hatfields and the McCoys

I thought that we were moving to a small town in Michigan. But we really weren't. We live next to the feuding Hatfield and McCoy clans. Since the warm weather is here and people are outside, my family has met most of our near neighbors. They all seem to be really nice people. One family provided us with several Rose of Sharon trees. Another family kept our front sidewalk free of snow last winter before we had made the move. The gentleman across the street has invited us to church several times and told other neighbors that we have the most well-behaved children in the area. One grandmother walked over and introduced her grand-daughter to my children because she thought that her grand-daughter would have fun hanging out with my kids.

As I talked with our new neighbors, I learned that the family on one side of us we'll call them family A)doesn't talk to the family on the other side of us (henceforth called family B) because family A lets their dogs run around the neighborhood. Family C, across the street, doesn't speak to family A or family B for various reasons. Family A is related to the people diagonal from us, but they are speaking to each other. I'm sure by now you get the idea. No one speaks to anyone except us and their children aren't allowed to play with each other.

All of this feuding mentality is causing my youngest girls some anguish. They have good friends from all three families and often are asked to pick one friend over another. I'm trying to use a first come, first play rule, but it's problematic. Sometimes the original friend goes home for a minute and another friend enters our yard and begins playing. When the original friend returns, who is asked to go home? I want to stay out of all the fighting. IT'S TOO TIRING to keep up with everyone's vindictive behavior. The saddest part is that they children all like each other and play well together. Poor Paige and Allie are struggling to be fair to everyone and everyone plays at MY house, because it's the only "safe" place.

I know that this will all work out. The situation is just strange.

Farmer's Market

The kids had fun at the craft show/farmer's market that they displayed their crafts at this morning. Joe was thrilled with the variety of items and Katie thought that all the produce was a good deal. I received a phone call from Joe wanting to know if he could buy some rhubarb. Last night, while grocery shopping, I offered to purchase some and make a pie for Mike. Mike said that he really didn't think we needed a pie in the house, so we passed. Joe returned from the farmer's market with rhubarb and fresh spearmint. We'll be making the pie this evening after dinner.

Joe wasn't sure what to do with the spearmint. He tried chewing on a few leaves, but didn't like the taste. I explained how to dry spearmint for tea. Joe took care of all the preparation and my house smells minty fresh. Many of us are craving mint tea.

It's been several years since I used the dehydrator. The last time was when I had tons of onions and decided to dry several trays of onions to use later. I don't care for the smell of onions and decided to dry them overnight outside under our awning. It worked really well, but for a long time my neighbors were commenting on the strong onion smell that permeated the neighborhood.