Venting about The Results of "White Lies"

My children have been taught from a young age that lying is a sin. They should not tell a lie. They are also taught not to state bald truths when it will hurt someone else. Lying breaks down trust between people. Even telling lies to avoid saying something that will disappoint someone is still wrong. Telling lies almost always makes things worse.

Recently, I've been thinking about the lies that people tell. Sometimes people make statements when they have misunderstand something that has happened or don't hear correctly. I don't consider that lying. Intentionally misstating events to make yourself appear better is lying. Even though I understand that saying something that makes you lose face is difficult, lying is worse. Liars lose the respect and trust of others.

My daughter was caught up in an incident when someone lied to make themselves appear moral and loving. Neither was true. A close relative, who doesn't like me, didn't want her daughter to spend the night at our home. Instead of saying that the relative doesn't like me (which I would have understood and respected, based on some of our personal history) or that the relative wanted to spend more time with her daughter, the relative stated that my child was "wild" and her child would be around a bad influence.

My child ended up in tears and was hurt that her God-mother would make such a flagrant lie. This is the most recent in a long list of hurtful statements made by this relative. The relative's daughter wants to ask her father if she can come over later in the week, when she is living with her dad. Her dad had already given his permission for his daughter to come over this weekend. I don't want to cause problems and get my immediate family caught up in a struggle between divorcing parents. I'll probably call the dad and set up another overnight at a later date, when his daughter is staying at her father's house.

Needless to say, I am angry. My lonely, depressed daughter has been hurt again by a former favorite aunt. My niece is angry with her mother for lying and disappointed that she won't get to see her favorite cousin. Sin is ugly. No one escapes unharmed. White lies hurt.