Dropping the Ball......again

We live in a very small town.  Our previous town was about 12 times larger than where we live now.  When we lived in the larger town, our family had close relationships with many librarians.  The children joined book clubs, story time, took computer classes, etc.  All of their library activities were ran by library staff and I didn't attend with my child.

The programs were wonderful and obviously the staff had spent much thought and work preparing for each event.  After picking up the children, I would learn about what they were reading or what movie was watched or see the various crafts that the children had created. 

When we moved to our current village, we checked out the library.  It's small and the staff is adequate.  We have had a hard time getting used to the short check out period and the fact that every card at the same address is connected.  If my 8 year old owes 20 cents on her card, the 25 year old isn't allowed to check out materials until the fine is paid. 

I don't use the local library much because of those factors.  The adult section is very small and doesn't have much to offer me as a reader.  My school-aged children have participated in a couple of programs at the library and my 14 and 16 year old children joined the teen book club.  The club meets each week and discuss the chosen selection.  After completing the book, the group watches the movie based on the book. 

The first book that the club read was Hunger Games.  Now what I would consider great literature, but appropriate for the age group.  The next few books were similarly appropriate.  Life got busy and I stopped asking as many questions about the group.  The book that the group just finished was The Perks of Being A Wall Flower.  One day, a friend of my children's recommended that I watch the movie.  My older son (not part of the book club) stated that I wouldn't like the movie.  So I looked it up on the internet.  Not something that I would recommend for my 14 year old to read or watch with out some conversation.  Supposedly, the teen book club leader received a "nasty email" about the book selection from one of the homeschooled book club members.

Last week at book club, my 14 year old came home with the new selection.  I looked up the book on Wikipedia for a synopsis.  It's a book that glamorizes a teen realizing he is gay and how wonderful it is that he had accepted this part of who he is as a person.  I asked who picks out the books and learned that the group makes suggestions, but the 20 year old library staff member has over-ridden their choice.  There are 5-7 teens in this group.

I don't have a problem with my children reading about tough subjects or about different perspectives.  It's important for children to ask questions and learn to think about issues for themselves.  My preference is for them to discern what is good and what is sinful.  Homosexuality is sinful.  So is premarital sex.  So is gossiping about my neighbor or stealing.  I'm tired of all the promotion for sinful life styles on television and in books.   As human beings, no one deserves to be bullied, physically hurt, or treated poorly.  I am a sinner and as guilty of sin as everyone else.  I don't have the right to tell someone else how to live in our society.  On the flip side, my children shouldn't have to be constantly told that a sinful lifestyle is appropriate.  That they should rejoice when someone makes the choice to live contrary to what God demands.  I don't want my children to rejoice about sin.  I want them to repent and receive forgiveness. 

My teens will be missing out on book club for this round.  And the next time a book is selected, I'll be checking to see what it is that the group is reading to determine if it is worthy of my children's time. 

Things Are Changing

Last week, I went to the local high school to register the two boys. I've mentioned before that Joe wanted to meet more kids and be involved in the cross country team. We filled out paperwork, but weren't able to sign up for classes because the school had to decide what credits they would accept. Both of my boys are young for their school grade. Their birthdays are in late December and our state cut off date is December 1. The boys and I discussed the grade issue and decided to register the boys in the grades that would have been in had they gone to school from day one. Essentially, both boys lost credit for a year of school. The decision made Joe a freshman and Steve is now a junior.

Our thinking did not necessarily overcome all obstacles. The school isn't sure that they will accept all of Steve's credits. They may require him to take tests for most of his other classes or retake them. I mentioned to the counselor that Katie had transferred in as a senior and ALL of her credits were accepted without any problems. The counselor explained that the new principal has a different view of homeschool credits and doesn't believe that the homeschool work is an rigorous as public school classes. Ha! She hasn't seen my requirements! Steve and I decided that if his classes aren't accepted, I'll bring him home next year and graduate him as a homeschool student.

Katie was able to get 12 credit hours at a community college in a nearby town. I wasn't sure if she would be able to find enough classes that had spaces available, but thankfully it all worked out. Nothing like procrastinating until the very last minute. She finished signing up on Thursday evening for next Tuesday's classes. She's nervous and excited about starting. She's now trying to organize her work schedules at two different locations around school.

Monday night, Paige started crying because she wanted to go to "real" school this year. Of course, Allie chimed in that she wanted to go too. Mike said that he and I would discuss the idea and get back to them. There are pros and cons to both educational options.

Pros:
1. We'd like the girls to participate in more community activities, but the information is spread through the public school system. We once again missed out on soccer this fall.

2. The girls would get to know a wider group of children.

3. My workload would decrease. (Mike feels that this is a huge benefit right now. I'm starting to develop some health issues that could be alleviated with more exercise and I should be more available to help my mom.)

Cons:
1. The girls would get to know a wider group of children. The will be sick more often and will pick up bad behaviors.

2. Mike isn't around on weekends or evening until after 10 p.m. due to his work schedule. The girls wouldn't see him very often. (This is my biggest concern.)

3. We will need to live our lives around the public school schedule.

After lots of discussion and thinking, Mike decided that the girls should go to school this school year. I have some reservations, but understand his reasoning. We are doing this for one year and will reassess in June.

Wednesday morning, I took the little girls down to the local school (two blocks away) and registered them for fall. Paige and Allie are excited to be going, but my heart is a little heavy.

Madelyn will still be homeschooled this year. We should be able to get through a ton of things this year. Her days will probably be quite a bit shorter than normal, because she will have my full attention. I like that Madelyn will have so much one-on-one time. She's been a little short changed with mom time because of her spot in the family. She's already asked if we can go letterboxing or to do other fun things after she finishes her work. We're already planning on doing lots of cross country skiing this winter in the early afternoons.

Tuesday will be strange. One child will officially start college, and four kids will go to "real" school for the first time. Is it to weird too take First Day of School pictures of my high school kids?

Mom to Four Teens

Our oldest daughter, Amy is 5 years older than her next sibling. She is followed by a child born every 20-24 months for 4 years. When Amy was younger, she was the big kid and the other children were the little ones. Amy is now 23 years old (for a few more weeks) and the group of four were followed five years later with two sisters who are 20 months apart. The little ones have become the big kids. My youngest big kid is now a teen. For the next year, we will have 4 teenaged children.

The teen years were much more challenging and rewarding than I thought. Our teens are so much fun to be around! They are so capable, helpful and have the ability to make me laugh.....even when I'm trying not to laugh. There were a couple of challenging years when I worried more than normal about the choices they were making. It's difficult to keep my mouth shut and let them make decisions that I don't think are a good idea. Not sinful decisions, but choices that may make things more difficult for them later.

The older children are focusing more on specific interests and getting involved in fewer things. Steve is still very focused on skateboarding. He would spend 16 hours a day at the skate park if I let him. Joe is excelling at running and really enjoys his workouts. He also loves to read and invent things. I'm impressed that he already has an educational goal. Madelyn is not as much of a specialist as the older teens, but I'm sure that it will happen to her as well. She still has many interests.

It seems strange to have so many older children. Even my babies are not so little. Paige is going into 3rd grade this year; Allie is going into 2nd grade. I loved the baby stage with the special sweetness and delight in every new milestone. The toddler and pre-school stage is fun. Watching the children develop individual tastes and talents. Enjoying the funny antics and make-believe play was a joy. Paige and Allie still play make-believe games, but I realize that these days are numbered.

A nice thing about having older children is that they don't need constant supervision. I love letting the younger girls play outside without needing to be outside with them. I seem to be providing more guidance and less protection. No longer is it necessary to keep the kids from stuffing beads up their noses or eating toadstools.

I loved having younger children, but I think that older children will be just as rewarding. The next 5 years will include many changes in our immediate family circle. Most of our children will be adults and many of them will have moved on with their own lives. I intend to really savor these years before it is too late.